Incidents in the Kitchen
by O Spastic One
Summary: UPDATED AND IN PROGRESS! Formerly "Daisuke's Cold." (Sorry, I forgot to add that the last time I was on here...) Daisuke's older brother Dark likes to cause trouble and does so at any time he can. I will update whenever I come up with more ideas.
1. Daisuke's Cold

A/N: This came to be on the band trip. Well, I took the idea from the band trip when we went to San Francisco. There's a redhead trumpet player in the band, and me and this other girl were bugging him to no end. I saw a flock of…Never mind. I'll tell you after you've read it so I won't ruin it.

Daisuke's Cold

"Dark, what are you doing?" Daisuke asked his older brother, who was in the kitchen.

"I'm making breakfast!" Dark replied with a smile.

"Great," Dai said sarcastically, sitting down at the table.

"You okay, little bro?" Dark wondered, concerned.

"I feel like crap because I have a cold. I don't think I'm gonna go to school."

"Man, that sucks. I'll make you some more breakfast! Fluids are good, so drink your orange juice!" Dark poured Daisuke a cup of OJ.

"Um…Thank you?" Daisuke posed it as a question.

"No prob, Bob," Dark smiled. "OMG! Guess what, Daisuke!"

"What?" Dai bubbled through his orange juice, figuring he'd probably regret asking later.

"I saw a duck today!"

Dai was a little confused. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all! But it landed on the windowsill and it said 'Hi' to me!"

Daisuke was _really_ concerned now. "Dark, are you feeling okay?"

Dark didn't seem to hear the question. "And yesterday I saw a flock of rainbow cows!" After that, Dark started laughing maniacally.

"Uh, Mom?" Dai called cautiously.

"Yes, Dai?" Emiko yelled back.

"I think all that stealing has finally made Dark snap! He has an alternate personality he's been hiding from us! He's crazy!"

"Daisuke, you're thinking of Krad."

"No, I'm not! Dark is right here next to me and he's hanging onto my arm and laughing like a weirdo!"

"Rainbow cows!" Dark said creepily, laughing.

"Okay, yup! He's lost it!" Daisuke told his mom, trying to get Dark off his arm as he struggled to the front room.

"Elephuntays! Daisuke, we're in Africa!" Dark yelled.

"Dark, what is wrong with you?"

"Everything!" Dark smiled up at Dai.

"Dark, I have to go to school!" He tried his hardest to pry his older brother off.

"But don't you have a cold? Daisuke, stay here and I'll help you feel better!"

"NOOO! I don't have a cold! I feel just fine! I'll see you after school!"

Dark let go of Daisuke and the redhead sprinted out the door. Dark chuckled as Emiko walked in. "So?" she asked.

"Told you it'd work. It's a method I perfected over the course of 400 years. When they don't want to leave to go to school, I make them. And then they never want to see me freak out like that again," Dark smiled.

"Dark, you're such a troublemaker!" Emiko laughed.

"A troublemaker who made you breakfast."

"Oh, a talented troublemaker, even! Let's see how your cooking is."

Right then, the smoke alarm went off. "Oh, shoot!" Dark exclaimed. "I forgot! The eggs are still in the pan!" He sprinted to the kitchen.

"I take that part about being 'talented' back!" Emiko called after him as Dark tried to put out the fire that he'd accidentally started.

A/N: Okay. We'd been on the bus for a little _too_ long, and I was going a little crazy and I was bugging this redhead trumpet player and I was like, "Look! COWS!" and then he didn't look. I was kind of angry and I told him, "Dude, you totally missed it. Those were some awesome cows." Trumpet player: "I've seen cows before." Me: "You haven't seen those cows before. They were _rainbow _cows!" Other girl: "ELEPHANTS! We're in Africa!" Trumpet player (to WhiteXII): "I think they've lost it." WhiteXII: "Oh, Spazzy hasn't had it for a _loooooong _time. Actually, I don't think she ever had it."

Yeah. Me and that other girl were really sleep-deprived because we'd left at, like, six in the morning and we'd been on the bus for HOURS. Oh, well. That's what happens on band trips. What are you gonna do?


	2. Cereal on the Floor

A/N: Okay, as per request by Amywxue, I shall make this a series of one shots as I think them up. And for some strange reason, so far they've been in the kitchen. O.o So, I'm changing the title to "Incidents in the Kitchen." Anyway, here's the second chapter, Cereal on the Floor. Enjoy! ^-^

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><p>Cereal on the Floor<p>

Daisuke sighed as he came into the house after school. It had been a hard day and he just wanted to veg. He walked into the kitchen looking for some kind of junk food, doubting he would find any. Zounds! He was in luck. A box of his favorite sugary cereal had made itself comfortable in the cupboard. Smiling, he pulled it out and grabbed a handful, relishing the wonderful taste. He made his way to the family room where the TV resided and flopped down on the couch, turning on the tube.

"Daisuke, how was school?" Emiko called from her room.

"It basically sucked," Dai muttered, cramming a bunch of cereal into his mouth.

"What was that, Dai?"

"Nothing! It was great!" the redhead yelled, spewing the sugary goodness all over the floor but not really caring.

"Daisuke, you need to get your homework done before you watch TV, remember?" Emiko reminded him sternly, crossing her arms.

Dai sighed, turned off the magic box and retreated to the kitchen where he put away his endorphin enducer.

He started to sulk away to the stairs and then stopped in the doorway. _'What the heck!'_ he thought, going back to the cupboard and grabbing another handful of the happy stuff. (A/N: lol! That sounds like he's addicted to crack or something…) A bit of it scattered on the floor, but he didn't think anything of it.

As he happily chewed and went back to the stairs with a new found spring in his step, he bumped into the idiot he had to call his older brother.

"Hey, Dai!" Dark ruffled the ginger's hair playfully. "How's it going, man?"

"It was going better before now," Dai rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. Go and do your homework like Mom told you to," Dark stuck his tongue out at the younger boy.

Dai sighed. Sometimes he wondered if Dark and he were honestly related somehow…

He made his way up to his room and took out his foreboding math book. Sitting at his desk, he opened it to page seven hundred and eighty-nine and stared at it. Within seconds, he smacked his face on the book in frustration. "I just don't want to do this right now…" he muttered. "It's too much to deal with."

"Hey, Daisuke! You wanna come down here for a second?" Dark yelled up the stairs.

"Heck yes, I do!" Dai basically flew down the stairs, almost falling flat on his face when he got to the bottom. "What's up?"

"Um…Come here," Dark signalled for the redhead to follow him to the kitchen, chosing to ignore the fact that his brother could've just died a second before.

When they got there, the taller boy pointed to the floor where Dai's cereal had found its new home.

"Whose is this?" he asked.

"Mine. Why?" Dai shrugged.

Immediately, Dai found himself on his knees, face-to-face with the floor where the sugary goodness was.

"What the freak, Dark?!" Daisuke demanded, struggling to get free.

"Eat it!" Dark laughed maniacally, shoving Dai's face closer and closer to the cereal. "You spilled it, you eat it!"

"No, dude, that's disgusting!"

"Either eat the cereal or lick the floor!" Dark almost giggled.

"You'll never take me alive!" Daisuke squirmed.

"Eat it now!" Dark smashed the boy's face into the floor jokingly, laughing.

By this time, Daisuke was almost laughing with his brother. However, he was taking this as a challenge and wasn't about to back down from it. He flipped his brother over his shoulder and Dark ended up on his back, stunned.

Daisuke tackled the taller boy with a battle cry and started tickling him, knowing exactly where Dark's weakest spots were.

Dark caved under all the pressure and cried out, "Okay, okay, you win!" with tears of laughter streaming down his face.

"Yeah, and don't you forget it, Dark," Daisuke smirked as he got up.

"Dai, did you finish your homework?" Emiko wondered, coming into the kitchen.

"Um…" Dai looked at the ground.

"Uh-huh. Well, you'd better get on that, then."

"Yes, ma'am," Daisuke's shoulders sank as he made his way back up to his room.

"Hey, Dai," Dark put his hand on the redhead's shoulder. "Don't forget: I've gone through that stuff more times than I care to remember. I can give you a hand if you need it. I really do know how to do things."

"Thanks," Dai smiled.

Emiko grinned at this display of tender brotherly love.

Daisuke smirked. "But I don't trust you to help me with math…or anything else, for that matter." After that last remark, the ginger took off out the door laughing.

"Hey!" Dark yelled, chasing after his brother. "That was not nice, Daisuke! I'll get you back for that!"

Emiko shook her head as she watched the two boys tackle each other and continue the chase. "So much for _tender_ brotherly love," she sighed, walking back into the house.

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><p>AN: Okay, I feel like this one wasn't as good as the first one, and the ending was weird… Anyway, leave me a review to tell me what you think about it. This one was inspired by when I grabbed a handful of cereal and my mom gave me the evil eye because some of it fell on the floor. She kinda hates it when I do that… XP

P.S. Don't hold me accountable to updating regularly, because if it took me THIS long to think of a second chapter…*shudder* I don't really want to think how long it will take me to think of something else. So, yeah. Just don't expect regular updates because the muse for this story seems to not like me very much…

I'm going to start thanking all of my reviewers individually, because when authors do that and I reviewed their story, it makes me happy. I hope this does the same to all of you. So, here they are!

THANK YOUS TO:

ChocolateMilkLOL: Haha! Glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it.

WhiteXIII: Yeah, Dark is a little crazy in my universe, for some reason… :P

Tabi Caracu: Thank you! Your words warmed my heart. I tried to make the second chapter as fluent as the first, but I don't think it worked out as well as I wanted it to… :`(

Grace of Skye: Yay! I love writing things that people read over and over to make them feel better! :D

Amywxue: If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have continued this. (All of you who favorited and followed this, you have this person right here to thank for the review.) So, I thank you very much, but don't expect a lot more out of me. You can't rush the muse… XP


	3. Pizza Disaster

A/N: I LOVE YOU, WHITEXIII! XD She gave me this idea when we were talking on the phone a while ago. She is the most wonderful person ever. :D

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><p>Pizza Disaster<p>

"Boys, your father and I are going out to dinner tonight!" Emiko told her sons. "You can handle yourselves, right?"

"Yes, Emiko!" Dark called from the living room where he was watching a random TV show.

Emiko walked into the living room and looked at Dark. "I don't want you ordering out. There are some frozen pizzas in the big freezer out in the garage. Just follow the instructions on the box. You can do that, yes?"

"Of course!" Dark gave her a thumb's up. "I got this."

"Okay. Just make sure that Dai gets some. I don't want to get home and see him all skin and bones." Emiko looked at the older boy pointedly.

"Yeah, okay. I'll save the shrimp some."

"Goodbye, Dark! Give Dai a hug for me when he gets out of the shower!" Emiko and Kosuke started to leave and then Daisuke descended the stairs.

"Mom? Dad? Where are you going?" he wondered, using a towel to dry off his bright hair.

"Dai, your father and I are going out to dinner. There are some frozen pizzas in the freezer, so just follow the directions. I forbid you to order pizza again just because you're too lazy. I bought those pizzas for a reason."

"Okay, Mom. I got it," Dai nodded. "No ordering pizza. Use up one of the millions that we've got piled up in the freezer for occasions such as this."

"Exactly," Emiko smiled, hanging on to Kosuke. "Bye, boys! Try not to burn the house down, okay?"

"Please, Emiko. We'll be fine," Dark winked at her.

"Remember the incident with the eggs burning in the pan not too long ago?" Daisuke elbowed his brother, smirking.

"Shut up, little twerp!" Dark gave the younger boy a noogie. "Bye, Emiko! Don't worry about a thing!"

Daisuke struggled out of Dark's grasp and went to the kitchen. "Dark, come help me with this."

"Nah, I'm good," Dark shrugged, flopping back down on the couch in the living room. "You're old enough to figure it out all by yourself, aren't you?"

"Well, Mom still said that we should work together, right?"

"Are you so stupid that you can't read directions on a box?" Dark sighed, getting up and walking to the kitchen.

"Hey!" Daisuke yelled. "That wasn't nice!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Dark waved his hand. "Now, first, we go and get a pizza out of the freezer. Go get one, Dai."

Daisuke sighed and went to the room where they kept the big freezer. As he picked up the pizza on top of the huge stack Emiko had stored, he muttered, "Why did I have to get stuck with Dark as a brother?"

He got back out into the kitchen and Dark grabbed it from him. "Excellent choice, Daisuke!" Dark told him, putting the pizza on the counter. "Now, watch closely. After we got the pizza, we read the instructions on the back."

Daisuke rolled his eyes as Dark flipped the box to look at the instructions. "Ok. So, first we preheat the oven to four hundred and seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit. I will do this myself!" The purple-haired boy adjusted the dial on the oven and skipped back over to the bar.

"Now, number two: get pizza out of the box," Daisuke read skeptically. He looked over at Dark, who was looking at him with eyebrows raised. "Really?"

"Duh," Dark rolled his eyes. "What idiot wouldn't take the pizza out of the box?"

"I wouldn't doubt you forgetting to," Daisuke smirked.

"Hey," Dark threw a warning punch at Daisuke's head. "Now, number three…"

The oven beeped, signaling it was heated up. Both boys jumped in surprise.

"Oh, ok. Now, we just need to set the timer for the pizza…" Daisuke said, setting it.

"Let's go play a game or something, Daisuke!" Dark said happily, grabbing his brother and dragging him into the living room.

Daisuke sighed. "Fine…"

"Yay! Let's play I Spy!" Dark said childishly.

"Really?" Daisuke asked.

"Yeah! I'll go first. I spy with my little eye…something…grey!"

The redhead rolled his eyes but knew that there was no point in fighting it.

After fifteen long minutes of playing I Spy, the timer went off.

"Finally, food!" Dark sprinted to the kitchen and waited by the oven as Daisuke followed him. He did a weird little dance as he waited for his younger brother to open the door.

"You are so weird…" Daisuke shook his head, opening the oven door. "What the…?!" he exclaimed when he saw there was nothing in the oven. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Dark, did you put the pizza in the oven?"

"What, of course I –!" he stopped short. "Oh…Ha, ha! Here it is!" he grabbed the pizza still wrapped in the plastic, sitting on the counter.

"Really, Dark?" Daisuke rolled his eyes. "Just put it in the oven aft – NO!" he cried as Dark started to put it in with the plastic covering still on.

Dark dropped the pizza in shock, making it fall onto the bottom of the oven and the plastic melted, causing a terrible smell to come over the boys. Daisuke frantically tried to get the pizza out with his oven mitt, but before he could, the cardboard holding the pizza burst into flames, causing the redhead to jump back in surprise.

"Hold on, Daisuke!" Dark exclaimed, running back into the kitchen with a hose from outside. He sprayed the water all on the oven, turning it all into steam. Not having the nozzle in reach, water continued to come out of the hose. "Ack!" Dark yelled in surprise when it didn't stop and pooled on the kitchen floor.

"Take it back outside, you moron!" Daisuke told him, turning him in the right direction as the taller boy frantically tried to get out the door.

The redhead groaned at the mess they'd just made. Their mom was going to kill them when she got back home…

When Dark got back into the kitchen, he said, "Order out?"

"Yep," Daisuke nodded.

…

When Emiko walked into the house with Kosuke, giggling, she saw her two boys sitting on the couch, watching a movie together. "Well, boys, how'd it go?"

"Great," Dark smiled.

Just then, Emiko saw the box from the pizza place they always ordered from next to Daisuke. "You little punks!" she exclaimed. "I specifically told you to make one of the pizzas from the freezer and what do you do?! You order out when I told you not to! What do you have to say for yourselves?!"

"Uh…Emiko…?" Kosuke said from the kitchen.

"What?!" Emiko turned on her husband.

"Maybe you should see this…"

She stormed into the kitchen and saw the disaster that had been the pizza and then the water on the floor. She paused. "Do I even _want_ to ask?" she wondered.

"I'm guessing not…" Kosuke shook his head.

Emiko walked back out to the living room. "Ok. You are not allowed to cook in this house anymore. Ever again. Especially not you, Dark… Come on, Kosuke. Don't stay up too late, boys," she told them, grabbing her husband's hand and walking upstairs to their room.

The two boys looked at each other, smirked and then high fived. "Mission accomplished," they laughed.

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><p>AN: Oh, those mischievous boys! This did _not_ turn out the way I thought it was going to, as I wrote part of it and then kind of left it alone for a little bit… Wow… Ok, that was fun. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the latest installment of this story! I love reviews!


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